Over the past 12 months, my life has taken a tumultuous turn, leading me down a path of self-discovery, resilience, and ultimately reclaiming inner strength, finding self love again and appreciating inner peace.
In the midst of personal challenges, fears, and uncertainties, I found myself on a journey towards recovery that transformed my perspective on life.
The Abyss of Fear: No Way Out
It all began this time last year. I was facing an overwhelming fear of the unknown that left me feeling frightened, lost, and without control. I vividly remember slumped on my mother’s couch, emotions cascading, feeling fearful , confused, and the daunting question of what was next.
Looking back i don’t even recognize that person on the left of the image below. That’s not me, it can’t be.
Reaching Out for Support
In moments of despair, I reached out to friends and family. Their response was a defining moment. While some distanced themselves, others ran towards me, providing an invaluable support system. The ones who stood by me during this challenging time hold a special place in my heart forever. Their unwavering support became a lifeline, a reminder that I wasn’t alone in this battle. If they are reading this I want to say that you helped save my life and I will be forever grateful.
Navigating the Hospital Visits
The journey towards recovery, although i didnt fully understand it at the time, began with several hospital visits, a process that was, at times, scary and disorienting. The sirens, the ambulance rides, it was a rollercoaster of emotions. Yet, each hospital visit became a stepping stone, a part of the larger narrative of reclaiming control over my life.
Therapy and Self-Reflection
Amidst the chaos, therapy played a crucial role. Conversations with my therapist provided a space for understanding, for making sense of the turmoil within. I realized that my struggles were often external factors beyond my control, a daunting realization that required a shift in perspective.
Practicing gratitude emerged as a guiding light. Daily affirmations of what I was thankful for became a grounding practice. I acknowledged that while external factors might challenge me, they wouldn’t define me. Taking back control started with my mind was a big step towards finding inner strength and peace.
As the year has progressed this daily rituals have continued buts its help me realise that i need to express how i feel, i want to tell people i am grateful for them, i feel love like never before, i am present in life and in relationships. I have seen darkness in my heart and now i see light, i want to shine bright now and share this with the people around me.
Empowerment Through Daily Habits
As i mentioned the process wasn’t instantaneous. It involved small, daily steps. Exercise, a controlled diet, and setting achievable goals became integral. The simple act of getting out of bed, making breakfast, and reaching out to a friend formed a routine that fostered a sense of accomplishment and empowerment.
From Despair to Strength
Over time, I realized a transformation within myself. The struggles that initially felt insurmountable became stepping stones towards strength. The colour returned to my skin, and my energy for daily tasks was rekindled. Life came back into my soul and it was something i made a conscious decision to embrace. What seemed like an endless abyss of fear gradually turned into a path of self-discovery and resilience.
Gratitude for my health, friends, and family became the cornerstone of my mindset. Taking back control of my mind and body slowly helped me realise what I have to offer the world. I’ve become stronger and more resilient. I have a new found love for myself which means I can express that love to others in my life.
In the last 12 months, I found strength where I least expected it. The journey of recovery taught me that even in the darkest moments, there’s a reservoir of inner strength waiting to be tapped. It’s a journey that continues, marked by gratitude, self-discovery, and an unwavering belief that no matter how challenging the road may be, there’s always a way to reclaim one’s inner strength.
If you or someone you know needs mental health support in Ireland, here are some extra resources:
Aware – Offers support, information, and education on depression, bipolar disorder, and related conditions. Visit their website: Aware
Pieta House – Provides free therapeutic services for those in suicidal distress or engaging in self-harm. Learn more: Pieta House
Samaritans – Offers a helpline for emotional support, available 24/7. Visit their website: Samaritans Ireland
Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, and these organisations are here to support you.
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The Endless Spiral 