YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS BELONG ON A PLAQUE, NOT ON A HEADSTONE

Written by Keith Russell

When You Spend Your Life Helping Everyone Else

There’s a strange thing that can happen when you spend so much of your life trying to help other people. You become very good at checking in on everyone else while quietly forgetting to check in on yourself.

Over the last while, I slipped into that place without fully realising it.
I kept moving. Kept creating. Kept showing up. Kept trying to be useful.
But somewhere along the way, I forgot the basics of looking after me.

And when your mental health begins to collapse, it’s amazing how quickly the simple things disappear first.

• You stop eating properly.
• You forget to drink water.
• Sleep becomes chaos.
• Exercise feels impossible.
• Your mind becomes so loud that even brushing your teeth can feel like climbing a mountain.

Crisis Mode Makes You Forget the Basics

When you’re in crisis mode, survival takes over and suddenly the fundamentals, the things that normally keep you steady, are the very things that disappear.

This past week has been one of the hardest periods of my life.
I experienced a mental health crisis that shook me deeply. But in the middle of that darkness, something unexpected happened too.

People showed up…

The People Who Show Up Matter Most

Messages arrived from friends, social media followers, old connections, and people I never even realised cared as much as they did. People reached out just to remind me that I mattered. That I wasn’t alone. That they were there.

And honestly, I don’t think I understood how much I needed that until it happened.

Sometimes when your mind turns against you, it convinces you that you are isolated. That you’re a burden. That nobody would notice if you disappeared for a while or even for ever.

But this week reminded me of something important:

Good people save lives.

• Not always in dramatic ways.
• Sometimes it’s just a text message.
• A phone call.
• A coffee dropped to your door.
• Someone sitting beside you in silence.
• Someone reminding you to eat something.
• Someone saying, “I’m glad you’re still here.”

Those moments matter more than people realise.

“Your Achievements Should Be on a Plaque, Not a Headstone”

One sentence in particular hit me harder than anything else. Someone told me:

“Your achievements should be on a plaque, not a headstone.”

I haven’t stopped thinking about that.

Because when you’re struggling mentally, your brain has a cruel habit of erasing every good thing you’ve ever done. It reduces your entire existence down to your worst moment.

• You forget the people you’ve helped.
• You forget the battles you’ve already survived.
• You forget the progress you’ve made.
• You forget the impact you’ve had.

You forget yourself.

That’s why remembering your achievements matters. Not from a place of ego, but from a place of evidence. Evidence that you’ve survived difficult days before. Evidence that your life has meaning. Evidence that you have already done hard things.

Remembering Your Anchor Points

For me, one of the biggest anchor points in all of this has been my kids.

When your thoughts become overwhelming, anchor points matter. The things that tether you back to the world. The people who remind you why you keep going.

Sometimes healing doesn’t start with optimism. Sometimes it starts with responsibility. With love. With simply saying: “I need to stay.”

And right now, I’m learning something else too: I do not need to solve my entire life today.

You Only Need to Get Through the Next 12 Hours

‘I only need to get through the next 12 hours’, was something I kept telling myself.

That’s it. Not next year. Not forever. Not every possible future scenario my anxious brain creates at 3am.

Just the next 12 hours.

• Eat something.
• Drink water.
• Take a shower.
• Go for a walk.
• Reply to one message.
• Rest.
• Breathe.

One step at a time.

Protecting and Conserving Your Energy

I think sometimes we underestimate how important conserving your energy is during difficult periods. When you’re mentally exhausted, everything drains you faster, noise, pressure, expectations, social interaction, even decision making.

So maybe protecting your energy isn’t selfish. Maybe it’s necessary.

Maybe healing starts by giving yourself permission to slow down long enough to recover.

I’m still figuring all of this out. I don’t have some perfect inspirational ending tied neatly in a bow.

But I do know this: You deserve the same care you so freely give to other people.

• We deserve rest.
• We deserve support.
• We deserve nourishment.
• We deserve kindness.
• We deserve people who remind you who you are when you forget.

And if you’re struggling right now, please remember this:

Your mind can lie to you during dark moments. The people who love you are real. Your achievements are real. Your impact is real. Your future is real.

Take it slowly. Protect your energy. Focus on the next 12 hours. Return to the basics.

If you or someone you know needs mental health support in Ireland, here are some extra resources:

Pieta House – Provides free therapeutic services for those in suicidal distress or engaging in self-harm. Learn more: Pieta House

Samaritans – Offers a helpline for emotional support, available 24/7. Visit their website: Samaritans Ireland

 Aware – Offers support, information, and education on depression, bipolar disorder, and related conditions. Visit their website: Aware

 BodyWhys – the Eating Disorders Association of Ireland, is the national voluntary organisation supporting people affected by eating disorders.

Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, and these organisations are here to support you.

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